But for the purposes of this post, we will focus on some of the features associated with AS that can negatively impact romantic relationships.
Men with AS often have some of the following traits, but they will vary in both number and level of severity from person to person: 1.
They never tried to understand me, yet expected ME to understand THEM!
I have great Spectrum friends and we have fortnightly family get-togethers that are huge fun. We understand each other’s body language; eye-contact is not a problem nor is bluntness and honesty in conversation. I wish I had read it about 15 years ago, before I married my husband in 2000. I am a physician myself who has worked with many children with DD and have also been reading every book I could find on the subject since I realized Aspergers was likely the cause of my husband's odd behaviors.
Call me an "Aspie" and any chance of me wanting to talk to you goes straight out the window. His parents are the same-weirdly rude and unemotional and isolated and very intelligent.
The pet is a friend that does not place demands on the man and accepts him as he is. AS males may seem set in their ways and can appear to be selfish or insensitive.
Oh, and I'm the daughter and grand-daughter of Spectrumites too.
I have dropped my non-AS 'friends' over the years as I was unable to meet their expectations that I should change to be more like them.
We make allowances for each other's sensory difficulties and can tell if the other is uncomfortable, and why.• Anonymous said… I feel that all my time is spent on how I can make things better for my husband to cope with life. For a long time I thought it was his upbringing --with selfish, distant parents, or me, that he wasn't in love with me, or I was too emotional and needy.
Yet I am the one that has to handle everything and there is never someone there to help me. For a long time I pushed aside my friends when it came to social outings since my husband always seemed so awkward at these events. I see that I am responsible for my own anger and resentment and criticism, and the response it has provoked in him. But I also see that he will never be someone who will hug me spontaneously, kiss my cheek when I am crying, grab my hand when we are walking, look me in the eyes and truly understand emotionally what I am going through. He doesn't like to make eye contact, unless it's an overly direct, almost aggressive stare, and pulls away quickly after a stiff hug.