“If they meet that criteria, then we’re already at a good starting point.” Colin, another wingman, echoes the sentiment: “The dudes you have gone on dates with are generally shitty people. “They lack confidence and don’t really know what they want.” These are all things I’m aware of, yet I haven’t done much to remedy.
, psychologists pointed out that “others sometimes see aspects of our personality that we are blind to.” In part, that’s due to our own internal biases; we also tend to suffer from information overload, given that we’ve lived our histories — but our friends haven’t, making them more clear-eyed when it comes to picking out salient information.
’” Instead, I should make a note of a specific quality or hobby: Do you know anyone who’s into rock climbing?
This makes the whittling-down option more streamlined.
And because our dating styles differ, it made my network more effective in pointing out where I’ve gone wrong.
“We look at different things in a person or assess people differently,” Diana points out. And your best girlfriend would focus on things that are more broad.
In fact, a wingman might actually make better choices for a friend than they would picking out a match for themselves.
“If two people have money and they have to buy something for themselves or the other person, they’re going to make better choices for the other person,” explains Moran Cerf, a neuroscience and business professor at the Kellogg School of Management.
Wingman uses information from your Facebook, a bit like Tinder does, but also gives your friend the option to write what’s so great about you, and basically do a lovely PR job on you.
I’m messaging Jack (not his real name) because Paloma thinks we’d be compatible.
He’s a podcaster and a freelance writer, two qualities in a potential date that aren’t altogether surprising given my propensity to gravitate toward other journalists, musicians, and the chronically underemployed. Paloma and I have been friends for a few years, and there’s no one I trust more with a dating app than her, which is why I’m letting her pick my suitors on a platform called Wingman.
For example, Diana, my best friend since high school and another one of my digital wingmen, uses the app to screen out musicians, my typical go-to type.
According to her, the ideal match for me would likely be “the complete opposite of the person you typically try to date,” she says.