(On my first day of therapy, I said, "I'm here because I'm too ugly to have a girlfriend. I hated being (or believing I was) ugly, but that was preferable to delving into the deeper, scarier issues that were keeping me single. Once I admitted there might be some other stuff going on, I was forced to do hard, scary work.)Some personality problems are really easy to solve, such as bad grooming. Others are much harder, such as extreme shyness or total lack of confidence. Given that, it's amazing how many people falsely believe confidence is something you have or you don't. "I am a loser" vs "I've had a streak of bad luck lately" or "I've failed at a bunch of stuff."Pick something challenging. They just don't show off their skills until they've already put in the time to become confident with them.
Please help me cope with the fact that I'm going to be alone all my life." I was enraged when my therapist refused. The awesome thing about ugly was that it absolved me. Spend weeks, months, and years working on it until you know in your bones that you're good at it. The interesting thing about mastery is that local levels of it lead to overall confidence.
The difference was that the studs kept on asking, even after getting rejected over and over.She asked, "Have you ever seen an ugly man with a girlfriend? You will feel and exude confidence about that skill. If you try something a few times (or even 50 times) and say, "I suck at this," it means you're lazy. That is the connection between, say, learning to play the harmonica really well and dating.No one is confident about everything, and you don't have to be. Individual skills will boost your general confidence and sex appeal, even to people who don't like the harmonica or who don't even know you play it.So basically I’d made up my mind to line up 4 dates in 2 days’ time.And my basic approach was to start a conversation with something related to the details about interests, books or movies that I find.He is not a bad person, but he has a human brain that evolved to best understand small tribes of people, so he concludes (or feels) that "girls are bitches." This feeling is based on four out of 3.5 billion women. You need to prime your brain with a bigger sample-set of evidence.There are less-obviously toxic versions of "girls are bitches" that can, in the end, be just as detrimental to one's love life, including "girls need protection," "girls are delicate," "girls are prizes," and "girls are overly emotional." There's no such thing as "girls." There's 3.5 billion people who happen to have a certain set of body parts.The nerds were only "losers" because they gave up after a few rejections.2.They need to stop thinking of the opposite sex as a unfathomable mystery: They need to stop crying, "Who the hell can understand women? (The key lesson for straight women is that men are people.That includes men who put women on pedestals and men who think of women as walking question marks.Note: avoid "learning" about women from pick-up-artist manuals.