Finally, on that same note: Don’t bring up his stresses or struggles – he’ll bring them up himself if he wants to talk about them.
On that same token, if he wants to talk about his stresses or struggles, just listen.
If you start offering help or support to him, a lot of guys will actually resent it.
They won’t resent the gesture in it of itself, but they’ll resent the fact that they feel like they’re an object of pity … MORE: What to Do When He Says He Needs Space Instead, the best thing that you can do is admire and appreciate all of the good parts of him.
The first date went OK, so we kept seeing each other.
Before long I started getting attached and soon I found myself falling for him.
In fact, I was so surprised by this that I initially doubted the truth of the stories.
I speculated that the women writing to me were subject to some kind of wishful thinking or tunnel-vision, by which they focused only on the good in their boyfriend rather than the advantages of other men. A woman couldn't wishfully think herself into a degree of love so strong that she would feel compelled to write me for help.
When he feels relief from you, it will be easier for him to work out his own issues.If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female's ignorance of the male mindset.At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex.We spent a lot of time together, and by three months I was in love.Now we are five months into the relationship and things have stagnated a little. Our phone calls are getting shorter, we see each other less frequently, and he's been answering my texts sporadically. Obviously this is just a paraphrase; the details of each story vary.The way women handle difficult emotions is much more psychologically healthy and healing, but it is what it is.MORE: What to Do When a Guy Withdraws With that said, when a guy is under a lot of emotional or psychological stress, he will want to withdraw socially until he’s figured out his situation.It’s important that you don’t take his being withdrawn personally. When a woman is upset about something, most women talk to their friends and lean on their support group. Guys, on the other hand, typically view themselves as weak and incapable if they voice their feelings or lean on other people for help or support.A guy might do it, but he’ll typically feel like a loser or weakling for asking for support or even talking about his feelings.Women either try to be helpful (which makes the man feel emasculated) or they take it personally and start becoming really insecure/needy (which makes the man feel burdened even more).So just remember: don’t try to solve and don’t take it personally.