They dated casually for a few weeks before they split up and we got together, and three years later the same friend gave one of the readings at our wedding.
Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.1. It's common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well; however, your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush.
What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.
This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.
Depending on the situation, it might either be a funny coincidence or something that could tear apart a friend group.
Here are a few rules to keep in mind when trying to figure out whether it makes sense to start something up with your ex boyfriend's bro.
I can count the degrees of hookup separation between my closest friends and myself, and usually come up with no more than two or three.
In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend.
It was completely innocent, he and I thought nothing of it… He was a caring guy, I could tell he loved me in a platonic way.We were coworkers for a few months, and then one day, he confessed his feelings to me. Some days I was his girlfriend, some days I wasn’t.We dated on and off for almost half a year, and let me tell you, it was awful. He brought up having an open relationship and polygamy a lot, which I refused since that wasn’t my cup of tea.If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.But he gave me everything I needed; support, love, friendship, a shoulder to cry on, and so much more.Eventually, I told him how I felt and it turned out he felt the same for me.If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party.3. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!But we could not be together until he talked to my ex. Do it because you cannot see yourself with anyone else. He was uncomfortable with the thought of dating his best friend’s ex girlfriend without talking it through first. My ex had told him that he saw it coming, because he was caring for me, because he was capable of loving me.