Now for the caveat: If one of your girlfriend's lovers strongly objects to Dom/sub sex, relationships, or role-playing games, and your girlfriend is aware they object, and you two want to be exquisitely ethical, MASTER, then either your girlfriend shouldn't fuck that person or she should disclose your Master/slave dynamics to that person and allow them to decide whether they want to fuck her anyway.
Zooming out for a second: Some people in open relationships don't want to know what their partners get up to, and these couples usually have "don't ask, don't tell" agreements about sex outside the relationship.
I've been enjoying consensual nonmonogamy for the past two years, in part thanks to your column and podcast.
I have a delightful young lover, and our connection has evolved into a kind of Master/slave relationship.
Masochists And Sadists Tackling Ethical Relations This falls under the header of permissible secret perving (PSP), MASTER, and I will allow it—with one caveat.
My boyfriend of one year has refused to delete photos from his Instagram account that show him with his ex-girlfriend.
We're in a cuckold relationship—she sleeps with other men and women, while I am completely monogamous to her—and "my" best man is one of her regular male sex partners and her maid of honor is one her girlfriends with benefits.
No one else at our big traditional church wedding (that her mother is paying for) will know.
They know she isn't monogamous and they are aware of her relationship with me, but so far she has chosen not to tell them the extent to which I "own" her and have jurisdiction over her body and actions. Or after she's developed a more intimate rapport with them?
Of course, it's just an elaborate role-playing game—but is it wrong to be using these people as pawns in our game without their knowledge and consent? There's a perverse thrill in her other lovers being totally oblivious to it, but we want to be ethical in our polyamorous ways.